Bands like ‘Sick Of It All’, ‘Suicidal Tendencies’, ‘Pro-Pain’, ‘Slayer’, ‘Metallica’, ‘Congress’, ‘Slipknot’ – they were my heroes. At the age of fourteen, I was not allowed to go to a ‘Metallica’ concert and because of this I messed up a whole year at school and I hated my parents. My rebellion probably started earlier, but after this event it only became worse. I started to hate everybody and everybody was to blame, except for me.

I would ‘bang my head’ to the music for a while

Between the age of seventeen and eighteen I calmed down a bit after realising that my behaviour was not helping me. Slowly I got to know more and more people and thought I was doing quite well. However, when something went wrong or I felt unhappy for whatever reason, I would ‘bang my head’ to the music for a while which made me feel better again. I loved going to metal concerts and festivals: looking for sex, drugs and Rock ‘n’ Roll, and got caught up in the socio-political lyrics from bands like ‘SOIA’, ‘Pro-Pain’, or ‘Congress’, thinking we could change the world through this music. I was convinced; I was doing the right thing.

Then, in January 2000, I had the opportunity to go to London for my internship. During the Easter break I decided to head home for a couple of days. At Victoria Coach Station I asked a young man for some help. He was waiting for the same bus as me. We started talking about all sorts of things, the economy, school, Holland and the UK. But spoke intensively about war. He knew a lot about this subject, especially the politics behind it all. In the music I listened to they talked a lot about war; the war inside my head, or mandatory suicide, but that was largely due to frustration and unbelief.

I had a different idea about most Christians

In Holland, we exchanged e-mail addresses, even though I realised that this “crazy” Scotsman was a Christian. At home I asked my mum for her Bible (she must have thought I was mocking her) and I started searching for some of things the Scotsman had mentioned. Back in London, I realised I had somehow lost interest in listening to Ozzy or AC/DC. I got in contact with this Christian guy again and we met a couple of times. Somehow I started asking him questions. It was great to see that he was normal, as I had a different idea about most Christians.

We got along quite well and he invited me to Scotland. Still very sceptical about his Christian life, I thought I’d take advantage of the situation and have him show me around Scotland a bit…

When we visited Edinburgh Castle, he was telling me a bit about history and how Scotland was once a Christian nation. This could be seen inside the castle, especially in the War Memorial Chapel. When we entered the castle, my initial thoughts were “great, but not very special.” But then we walked in to the shrine where a replica of the Ark of the Covenant with the archangel Michael hanging over it can be seen. There, I felt a heavy weight on my shoulders, like I was carrying somebody. I felt dirty and sinful. This feeling had to go!

Later, I decided to go along to one of their meetings. Amazingly, despite my expectations, the people were normal, we were not in a church-like building, just in a big beautiful house, and they did not make me feel pressured in any way (which would otherwise most probably have made me run).

Exposing Satan in my mind and in the Rock Music

The meeting was quite different from anything I could remember from my Catholic childhood. It was full of life. Soon the pastor started talking about a book where Satan is depicted as a sly creature that works in your mind, just like with Eve and the forbidden fruit. This was so real to me. I thought he was talking to me personally. One thing was clear to me, all these years I had allowed Satan in my mind, through the music, through the occult and just by living a rebellious, selfish life.

Later they sang a chorus: “The gates of hell shall not prevail against the army of the Lord” and this stuck with me again. I suddenly realised that everything about God and Satan is real and I was on the wrong track. I almost started crying, something I hadn’t done for many years. On the 28th of May 2000 I repented and decided to give my life to Jesus, just like in ACTS 2:38.

Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God…1 CORINTHIANS 2:12-14. I can honestly say that the spirit of this world (which is of Satan) is behind this music. Rock ‘n’ Roll and most of the pop music is so dangerous, because it works on a subconscious level, and you cannot spiritually discern what is going on or how it is influencing you. By the grace of God, He saved me from this.